I was meaning to write a blog about the fact that I decided to finally delete my Instagram in January of the beginning of this year (2025). What happened the other day was funny, though, because I went back on it and tried to find people I felt connected to in the past. Besides that, let me tell you how I came to the conclusion that I should disappear from social media altogether.
I was meaning to delete my Instagram last year, but I haphazardly joined a journal group. It was good for healing but not-so-good when it pertained to friends. There was a girl, who immediately followed me on Instagram, but ended up being a hater. When I put a picture of my transformation of being a big fat girl to thinner and skinner yet still thick, she posted a picture of herself with a caption that read, “I don’t have to see nor want to change my body.” Okay, that’s you, honey! That ain’t me, though!
I have always been thin and thick but at the age of 18, I had a short-term relationship (3 months) and the boyfriend at that time touched the excess skin on my stomach and made me feel extremely sad and uncomfortable because he had a 6-pack (on his stomach, not alcohol). That’s what made me turn to Tae-Bo, Jillian Michaels as a young adult and other forms of exercise like Zumba, kickboxing and hip-hop class as a full-grown adult.
Anyway, I digress. I felt like I needed time for myself because juggling school while taking care of my mom, the house and the bills has become a challenge. Doom-scrolling wasn’t doing it for me anymore. Also, I felt like I needed validation and I wasn’t getting any of it from Instagram because no one was “liking, or hearting” any of my stories, reels or posts after a long time. It just felt cold and distant, so I became cold and distant. Booyah! :)
In doing so, I was able to get people to communicate with me (like my 3 cousins) and old friend. It felt good. I kept telling my therapist, Leila, about it. I was like, “See what getting off of social media did for me?! I disappeared and it provided feedback.” She was funny because she told me, “You were quite the magician, weren’t you, Ms. Gonzalez?” I laughed so hard!
Then I had a dream of some of my past coworkers in John Jay and my sister asked if they had come into my life to teach me a lesson or something. I said, “No, I was just concerned for them and their well-being.” So, I miss that. I want to see how they are, although they tend to be reserved, independent and private. But so am I at times? Go figure! Like attracts like.
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